hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
