why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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