How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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