No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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