you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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