i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize