Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
