True but thats because hes a fetus.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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