What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
