Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
