No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
