we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
