Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
