He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
