the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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