Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Randomize
