Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
