i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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