So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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