if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
