He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
