I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize