Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My bed smells like the plague
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
