You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
