Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize