so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
