do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Where is the hickey?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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