Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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