Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
