Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
