Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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