I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
