STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
