how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is Oprah even human
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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