I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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