Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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