Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize