Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
