I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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