did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
