No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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