He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
