I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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