"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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