i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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