do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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