walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
only if we run a train.
done.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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