The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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