I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
