Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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