It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
