He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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