god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize