my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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