AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
