So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
