why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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