just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Your penis caused this!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
