Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
