How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
