I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
