Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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