Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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