Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
