we have pet lesbian snakes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
