clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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