This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize